The Kick in the Teeth that I Needed | Jenn Begins #2

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

There are times when life gives you grief.  Other times, it gives you inspiration and hope.  It can also just rare back and kick you square in the front teeth.

Let's set the scene leading up to aforementioned assault on my chompers....

I've never been one to be short on problems..

Honestly, I wouldn't even mind them so much if I them so much if I could eventually cash them in for something.  Unfortunately, at least for me, they've never held much market value, and the future projections don't bode well for investing.

A big problem that I've been dealing with the last two-and-a-half years is my health.  Up until then, the worst thing I'd gotten was a nasty cold.  And while that was a phlegm-filled ball of misery, it wasn't anything a bottle of Nyquil and a 14 hour nap couldn't fix.  Having to deal with issues that never truly go away or don't yet have a clear treatment has been an adjustment.

Because of this, I've gone from having barely set foot in doctor's offices to my schedule splattered with appointments from several different doctors and prescription reminders.  It's been an adjustment and a half...and absolutely terrifying at times.  Some people fear ghosts and demons; I fear inexperienced nurses with large IV needles and patient gowns that are too small or thin.

Let's get on with the story...

One morning, bright and very early, I was getting my blood pressure, heart rate, weight, and all that good stuff taken at my specialist's office before my appointment.  As the cuff continued its death grip on my arm fat, I noticed the nurse getting a strange look on her face--the kind of look that is never good in a medical office.  She took my blood pressure again.  My poor fat arm!  Then, she led me to the room to wait for my doctor.

Long story short, my blood pressure was reading so high that I was at immediate risk of stroke.  I was then given two choices:  call my family doctor and make an appointment that same day or be escorted to the ER.  Thank goodness I was able to go with the much cheaper and less nerve wrecking option.

Unfortunately, the words "stroke" and "emergency room" did nothing to help my ever rising blood pressure. 

And...that was just the first part of my wake up call to the face.

Before I left the office, the doctor had me take a picture on my phone of the chart where they had logged my stats since I first started going there.  I really didn't get to look at it until much later in the day as I was too busy trying not to let my inner total freak out become a full blown anxiety attack.

I'll never forget what I found when I finally did take a good look at it!

I went down each column of information. Blood pressure numbers don't mean a hill of beans to me, but I knew my current reading was in the "really bad range."  I've never had problems with it before, so I've never really looked into it.  My temperature, on the sheet, seems human enough.  Then, hiding in the far left column, was my weight.  That's when I really got kicked in the teeth!

I knew I had gained some weight.  I even knew I would, because I had lost a lot when my condition started presenting last year.  I lost it so fast that a lot of my hair fell out before I got on my medication.  But...I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD GAIN MORE THAN 50 POUNDS IN 6 MONTHS!

I just sat there in the car doing that awkward, dull chuckle that I've picked up from years in the customer service industry.  The one that comes out with a customer tells an awful inappropriate joke, says something completely crazy, or when they act in a way that makes you wonder how they've made it through life thus far.  It's literally the sound when humor dies.  I had no idea, and it slapped me right awake.

My life has changed a ton in the last 6 months, but I thought I was doing better.  I was not.

I started really taking a look at my life.  What can I control and thus change, and what is out of my hands?

I'm not going to get into much detail in this post as I intend to make several posts in this series on my journey of self improvement and new beginnings. 

Briefly, I have slowly started to change my surroundings for the better, found ways to lessen my stress, overhauled my diet, and have really take myself and life more seriously. 

Because...who knows when I'll get that blow to the teeth again?  I just know I'm still sore from this one.


Author's Note:  I did go to my family doctor later that day, and my blood pressure was just reading on the high side of normal.  I also told on myself about how I've been eating like a teenager and stressed all to hell about everything.  I swear I'd be the worse crook ever.  I'd tell on myself before I got started.


  1. I too would tell on myself. My mother convinced me very thoroughly everything bad that happened to me or people I loved was in some way my fault. I would confess immediately. I can't stand guilt. I would take the blame for your health problems if I lived closer. I can't stop myself.

    1. The good ol' Southern guilt..ugh I hate it. I was the guilt scapegoat in my family, too. We'd make the worse crooks, but we'd still have fun trying lol. My doctor was really shocked, because I guess most people lie. I pay too much to see her to lie. I can't waste time. Medical time is too expensive. I'd rather use that money for wax melts or paint. lol


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